* = Had sex with only once

1. * Some guy at Pennsic War
You probably don't know, but Pennsic War is the world's largest Renaissance Faire. Well, it's actually not like that... it's the annual east coast gathering of the Society for Creative Anachronism, a counter-culture group of medieval history buffs. It's like a giant step back in time, with over twelve thousand people wearing costumes all day and night, fencing, fighting, singing bardic songs, and reveling. Yes, there's a *lot* of reveling, including a sub-group of gay people known as the Clan of the Blue Feather. I was a "straight" college student, but met this great kid at one of the drunken parties. I was juggling flaming torches, and he convinced me to go down to the lake and look at the reflection of the moon on the water and talk. And talk and talk... looking back I am really embarrassed that I was this confused bi-sexual guy that needed a lot of convincing to go back to his tent and fool around. More embarrassing is the fact that half-way through the fumbling, I got scared and bolted out of his tent. The next day, of course, I wandered back to his camp to try to get some more action. His mom asked me who I was looking for. It turns out the kid was only 15. To be fair, I was 19, but it was still statutory rape in Pennsylvania where we were. Not a good way to start my career as a practicing homosexual, not that it stopped me from bragging about the evening to the only gay friend I had to prove how adventurous and "hip" I was.

2. Kevin Layne
It was four more years before I found the courage to have gay sex again. I call this guy my first boyfriend, though looking back, it was all in my mind. We hung around together for three months, but his idea of a "date" was sitting in his apartment smoking cigarettes and watching prime-time TV. And I think we only had sex twice, though I can only really remember the first time - I was fifteen minutes early to show up at his house, and it turned out that he was busy in the bathroom douching out. So, he answered the door in a towel and a scowl. later, when I went into his bathroom, the bathtub was still coated from floor to walls with pieces of his shit. And I mean *coated*... at the time I juft thought all gay guys had a bathtub like that. He cleaned the tub up later, and that was the place I received anal sex for the first time: standing up in the shower and without a condom. Stupid, stupid, stupid, now that I think of it. When I told him I was a virgin and that had been my first time, he shrieked in laughter like a nelly queen. Not the response I was hoping for. That night, we fell asleep together, but I was so excited and horny to be in bed with another hairy gay man, I woke up at 3 a.m. and went into his living room. I put a bear porn tape in the VCR and jacked off by myself. I'm still a little bitter at the guy - he had a huge ass and treated me badly - but he taught me a valuable lesson. He once told me, "Pat, you are no longer straight. There is no reason for you to lie about anything ever again." So, I've tried to be honest with all of my partners since then, even if Kevin wasn't honest with me.

3. * Dean Smith
A grat guy, and the only uncut dick I've played with before or since. He cleaned it *really* thoroughly before we went to bed together - now that's a sign of a nice guy. He saw me at a party and said, "You're coming home with me!" I was young and wishy-washy at the time, so I said, "Sure." Dean was a good friend - better to me than I was to him - and still sends me Christmas cards from California as a thank-you for setting him up with his longtime boyfriend Kodiak.

4. * Dave Spencer
Another man I miss greatly. Not that he's dead (though he may well be - he had many health issues) but because he moved to California and ditched all his Colorado contacts. The man had a right to be bitter, he was an injured Vietnam vet with way too much time on his hands. He was almost always in a state of constant pain, but that didn't keep him from being a kind, gentle man. He was also paralyzed from the waist down, which made it a little difficult in bed. But he and I both loved uniforms and leather, and he taught me a great deal. Though one of his lessons about being a "good safe bear" and not being a whore was a little nullified by stories I heard about his behavior in Cheesman Park in his van. Maybe it was a case of Do As I Say Not As I Do.

5. * Steve Blake
The man was/is a priest. When he mentioned in passing that he loved opera, I bought two ticket to Lucia di Lammermoor as a date. Then we went back to his place. However, he told me he was single, and when we got back to his house the BOYFRIEND wasn't too happy with the situation. The two of them fought while I sat in the living room, wondering how I was going to get home since Steve drove me there. Eventually, the two of them came to some sort of agreement, which involved taking me into the bedroom and having a three-way. I guess having a young inexperienced guy in the house was worth shelving the argument for a while.

6. Jeff Stoner
One of my favorite bears. A real friendly guy, and a computer geek. It's a shame that we're not closer. I blamed Jeff for my first case of crabs, though that's probably not fair. We fooled around in a small closet at a bathhouse... not the safest cleanest place I'm ever had sex. And crabs are the curse of hairy guys. And in the end it turned out OK... my boyfriend and I were able to have a kinky shaving scene to chop off my public hair and cure me, so all's well that ends well.

7. Michael Kessler
Ah, my boyfriend, and the wonderful bear that I've been living with for the last ten years. Someday, I want to get married to him legally. Until then, I'm proud of the fact that we've built a house and a life together. We met in some slightly sordid circumstances (I was tied down to a bench and blindfolded, so the joke is "he met me a half hour before I met him"), but somehow, it all worked out all right. Check in with us ten years from now... I bet we'll still be together.

8. * Some guy in Atlanta
This was a Mistake (with a capital "M") and almost broke Mike and I apart before we had dated a month. I was a young bear who had just come out, and followed Michael on several business trips. While he was in meetings and conferences, I was prowling around town with various bear groups. You can see how trouble happened. Yes, I cheated on Michael. Twice, I think, though I don't count the party in Chicago that I crashed. The guy in Atlanta was so nice, driving me around town and showing me the sites, that I felt obligated to have unprotected anal sex with him. Dumb, really dumb. I told Mike about it, and he got really mad. Sometimes, I still feel like a kid in a candy store.

9. * Eric Bradley
I don't remember Eric very well, except that he was a friend of Michael's. OK, he was one of Mike's old boys. When I started dated Mike, he had a string of boys who would call him, and it took quite a while before those calls died down and I was chosen as the only remaining boy in Mike's stable. I remember that Eric sucked Mike to "completion", something that I don't think I ever did in the ten years we've been living together. Well, maybe once or twice, and I'm still a little envious of that boy's tenacity. Maybe Mike should have chosen a different boy instead of me.

10. * Al Walker (of Al and Tom)
Sorry Al, I don't remember you very much. I think it's great that eight years later, we are friends again - meeting under less promiscuous circumstances. You were a hot man then, and still are. I hope we can play again, regardless of the circumstances.

11. * Tim Radford
Is Tim a bigger pig than I am? He ditched me after one sex session because I was too vanilla. I should really look him up again - I think I could give him a run for his money. Although I'm trying to remember the sex with him, and i don't think it was anything to be shocked about. He and I need to try harder together!

12. Brody Randall
Brody and I were good friends for a string of months, hanging out, shopping together, working out lifting weights, and occasionally having sex. Our sex consistent mostly of dressing up in uniforms and taking photos, but on one rare occasion, a vibrator and a diving suit got me off. I was able to return the favor sometime later with Brody in a sling. He loves large objects, and I was more than glad to oblige. Brody, I miss ya!

13. * John Griffin
It was a strange joke that Mike and I would fly to remote cities to attend bear events, only to have sex with the Denver friends we already knew. I don't know why that was the case, except that some of the bears got a lot more randy when they were out of town. And since we all knew each other, it was "safe sex" in the sense that it was a sure thing. John was tired that night in the hotel, and the whole thing had the feeling that he had simply returned to the wrong hotel room and gotten into bed with the wrong bears. But John is a hot man, and I'd love to do a lot more things to him in a hotel room.

14. * Some guy at Provincetown bear week
Mike and I visited the P-Town bear weekend on summer. What a great town! I love that place. And the bears were hot, especially Andy Mangels in his fireman's uniform. But one bear in particular wanted me to sit on his face for hours and rim me, and how was I to refuse? I didn't get his number or his name, but I'd recognize the feeling of his beard on my ass anytime.

15. * Joe Velez
XXXX

16. Van Lynn Floyd
XXXX

17. * Ron Triplett
XXXX

18. Gerry Yutkin
XXXX

19. * Offie Hobbes
XXXX

20. * Mike Howard
XXXX

21. Mark Sizer
XXX

22. * Jeffrey Lammer
XXXX

23. * Master Pegasus
XXXX

24. * Howard Maki
XXXX

25. * Master Ted
XXXX

26. * Nelson Oman
XXXX

27. * Master George
XXXX

28. * Master Dan
XXXX

29. * Steve
XXXX

30. * Marc
XXXX

31. * Joe
XXXX

32. * Russell
XXXX

33. * Dar
XXXX

34. * Ray
 XXXX

35. Earl Baker Jr.
 XXXX

36. * Alan Potter's boyfriend
Jeff? Jim? Man, I'm sorry I've forgotten your name.

37 guys I've slept with
30 (80%) were one-night-stands
19 (50%) were new within the last year

Ones that got away

John Cheek
B.T. and Mitch
Keith Rutledge
Smokey (Jeff Stoner's partner)
Master Jim
Steve Heyl